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by John Glover
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Episode 9 - "25B Main Street: Part 1" (May 18th 11:15am)

Yaxleys car! Having lived in Bradford all his life, it came as something of a shock to Yaxley Farcett that Barnham was to be his new home. Yeah, he'd driven through places like this before, been for summer evening drinks in small places in the Dales but never expressed any desire to actually live anywhere that small. Let’s face it, if you can’t cook and refuse to cook, you need takeaways within walking distance don’t you? The reality of his transfer to the Fens was beginning hit home now as he drove past more ivy than it seemed sensible to grow on a house.

He crawled along the main street of the village, noting the pub Jak Jackson had mentioned. He wanted to ask someone for directions but the pavements were deserted. So much for the healthy country life; the sides of the road were crammed with cars, two wheels up on the path and a second car on the driveway. Eventually, after some kerb crawling, he pulled up outside Number 25; home. By the time he had slammed the car door there was someone on the door step to greet him. "Well. You must be Mr. Farcett" said a woman who looked to Yaxley to be in her early forties. She had aged quite well but seemed to be clothed from a wardrobe that had seen nothing new since Ted Heath had been Prime Minister. She was wearing a denim skirt and a white crocheted top through which a black bra was desperately competing for attention.

The woman loitered on the doorstep as Yaxley hauled his bag from the boot, deliberately keeping his back to the unwanted reception committee. He didn't want to encourage her. "Well Mr.Farcett. You're not what I expected at all. Much younger. They told me you're an Inspector. I was expecting someone much older". Yaxley mumbled something about promotion being slightly easier in the Drainage Division and then had a thought. "How do you know, anyway?" he asked petulantly. The woman laughed, "Listen lovely, it's not every day we get a Detective come to the village. You stick out a mile with your basketball cap and Beebok plimpsolls." She extended a hand and said, "Su Parsons. Your new landlady". She winked and added "Everyone calls me Su. What do we call you?" Farcett groaned. He was hoping for an invisible landlady. Someone who turned up once a month for the rent and then cleared off. This was a 'cup of coffee, luv?' kind of landlady who would be wanting to chat all the time about how cold it was or how the nights are pulling in and how it's only three months to Christmas. Farcett was not big on small talk. "Yaxley will do fine" he replied tersely.

Mrs. Parsons showed Yaxley in and took him up the threadbare stair carpet to his new room. It was a sparsely furnished bedsit on the first floor with a shared kitchen and bathroom. The carpet was in two different sections, with patterns from two different eras and the settee looked like it was about twenty five years old. He made a mental note to bollock the person in the personnel department in Bradford that had stitched him up. Revenge would be sweet. His first priority would be to find somewhere else. Mrs. Parsons disappeared and Yaxley emptied his holdall out on the bed; jeans, T-shirts, socks and pants.

The rest of his possessions were distributed about in various dark corners of his car. He sank into the armchair and remembered the roll of film in his pocket. His priority would be to get to the nearest Boots as soon as possible. As he replaced the film in his pocket, the door burst opened and he was presented with the shocked face of a man; early forties, five day stubble and a darts player's beer gut.

The prologue - Episode One -  Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 -  Episode 5 - Episode 6 - Episode 7 -  Episode 8 - Episode 10 -  Cast List

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