by John Glover
click here for cast
list
Episode 43: "The Pickled Egg and The Poppadom" - (May 18th
Midnight)
Yaxley
Farcett was feeling slightly better. He was leaning back in one of Fred Ricketts
comfortable armchairs, gulping down a pint of water. Fiona Morgan was sitting
beside him, trying to be supportive.
Farcett had only drunk the whisky to be sociable and now he had caused Fred
to have to roll up his carpet and throw it outside to wash off the vomit.
All this on top of the serious ear bashing they were about to receive for
having been caught snooping through his caravan window. He'd had better days
he had to admit. From the first phone call at nine o'clock that morning summoning
him to Cauliflower Drove, his encounter with Bunter Worthington, the history
lesson from Anne Worthington, the vast quantities of beer in The Skaters
Run, his karaoke seduction by Su Parsons, the pigs on the Railway line and
the Royal train and now this. Spewing up all over Fred's carpet. He'd been
in the Fens for only fifteen hours. It'd been a bad day. It'd been one hell
of a day. It'd been the mother of all days. He looked at his watch through
his right eye, the left still tightly shut to allow him a grip on reality.
Midnight. Thank god for that he thought; Let's see if this is going to be
a better day. There was the small matter of Reg Dixon's murder to think about.
Yaxley thought it time to explain himself to Fred. 'I don't suspect you Fred.
It's just that Fiona and me had wandered down here and I was curious. I mean,
there's not many people would live down here on their own like this'. Fred
smiled at Farcett. 'You're alright bor. You've got a job to do. I know that.
Just didn't expect me to catch you snoopin' did you ?' Farcett shook his
head. 'No. I forgot the time. I 'spose I thought you were still up at the
pub'. 'Well, I were . I sat on my own in the pub and had a couple of quiet
drinks and watched the place for Johnny while he were sorting out them pigs
with you lot' explained Ricketts. 'Then about half an hour ago they all turned
up again, all full of it they were. I left Johnny to lock up and came back
here'. Ricketts took another long pull on his whisky and said, 'So, Yaxley
Farcett. What exactly do yew want to know ?'
The prologue -
Episode One -
Episode 2 -
Episode 3 -
Episode 4 -
Episode 5 -
Episode 6 -
Episode 7 -
Episode 8 -
Episode 9 -
Episode 10 -
Episode 11-
Episode 12 -
Episode 13 -
Episode 14 -
Episode 15 -
Episode 16 -
Episode 17 -
Episode 18 -
Episode 19 -
Episode 20 -
Episode 21 -
Episode 22 -
Episode 23 -
Episode 24 -
Episode 25 -
Episode 26 -
Episode 27 -
Episode 28 -
Episode 29 -
Episode 30 -
Episode 31 -
Episode 32 -
Episode 33 -
Episode 34 -
Episode 35 -
Episode 36 -
Episode 37 -
Episode 38 -
Episode 39 -
Episode 40 -
Episode 41 -
Episode 42 -
Episode 44 -
Cast List and Episode Index
Comments to Collyinfo
Fred
Rickett's clambered back up the steps of his caravan and shut the door behind
him. 'I've thrown a bucket of water over it to git the thickest off. I'll
sort it out properly tomorrow. No harm done bor. I shoont 'a given you whisky
after seeing you knock all that beer back in the pub'. He sat back down in
his armchair and crossed his legs. 'Howya feeling now then bor ?' Yaxley
put his glass down and said 'That's done the trick I think. Must have been
all the excitement of moving down here and the murder and everything'. Yaxley
had opted for the last resort of the embarrassed drinker; blame everything
except the beer. Drink eight pints and eat a pickled egg and the resulting
vesuvian vomit is the fault of the poor egg. Consume two bottles of Chardonnay
and a poppadom and the following lavatorial lava flow rap falls on the crisp
like Indian hors d'oeuvre. Fred Ricketts and Fiona grinned at each other
across the compact caravan. 'Yes' said Fiona 'You were obviously very very
excited'