by John Glover
click here for cast
list
Episode 37: "The Bay of Pigs - Part 4" - (May 18th 1998 11.10pm)
Meanwhile, the convoy of cars, bikes and mopeds were flying down Cauliflower
Drove just as the explosions went off. Fiona Morgan was the first to reach
the crossing, followed by Johnny Swift. Fiona and Yaxley Farcett leapt out
of her Mini Metro and joined Jim Bullock beside the postrate form of Clive
Lancaster. They were soon joined by the rest of the Skaters Run regulars
that had made the trip down the Drove. 'At least you managed to stop the
train in time' mentioned Yaxley, hoping to make Jim Bullock feel better.
Yaxley had noticed, even in the moonlight, that Jim wasn't looking too well.
'That's a good thing isn't it ?' he asked. 'Just imagine what would have
happened if it had ploughed through this lot'. Jim Bullock turned to Farcett
and said with a shakey voice 'Hev you got your badge bor ? I think you ought
to be the one to speak to 'er'. Jim then explained to the still beer fuddled
Farcett that, not two hundred yards away, sat the Queen. She was probably
already wondering what the delay was and it would be better if an officer
of the law explained the reason, rather than a humble KwickTrak employee.
Yaxley took off his baseball hat and rubbed his face with hands. The Quangleroot,
Threaknecks and the rest were starting to take their toll now he was out
in the fresh air. 'Yeah, s'pose I'd better. I am the responsible one here'
he said before stumbling off in the direction of the train.
The prologue -
Episode One -
Episode 2 -
Episode 3 -
Episode 4 -
Episode 5 -
Episode 6 -
Episode 7 -
Episode 8 -
Episode 9 -
Episode 10 -
Episode 11-
Episode 12 -
Episode 13 -
Episode 14 -
Episode 15 -
Episode 16 -
Episode 17 -
Episode 18 -
Episode 19 -
Episode 20 -
Episode 21 -
Episode 22 -
Episode 23 -
Episode 24 -
Episode 25 -
Episode 26 -
Episode 27 -
Episode 28 -
Episode 29 -
Episode 30 -
Episode 31 -
Episode 32 -
Episode 33 -
Episode 34 -
Episode 35 -
Episode 36 -
Episode 38 -
Cast List and Episode Index
Comments to Collyinfo
Clive
Lancaster was pinned to the Railway line by a twenty five stone Saddleback
pig. The pig was breathing deeply and emitting a tooth grinding snore which
did not bode well for his early release. He lifted his face from the rail
and saw the signalman, Jim Bullock leaning against the signalbox wall. "Help
!" he pleaded. Jim suddenly pushed himself away from the wall and rushed
over to Lancaster. 'Oh Christ !', he wailed. 'We've got two dozen bloody
pigs here to shift and the only help I've got is trapped under one of 'em.
Brilliant !' As Jim Bullock and Clive Lancaster stared at each other there
came a series of loud bangs. The driver of the Royal Train threw the brakes
on and there was an ear shattering squeal of metal on metal as the engine
tried to come to a
halt.
The
rest of the assembled 'helpers' began the task of rolling the pigs off the
crossing and onto the side of the the track. Special care was taken with
the one that was still holding Clive Lancaster hostage. 'Thank you, thank
you. I thought I was going to die there for a bit' he said with relief. 'Yew
shunt 'a run yew daft bugger' said Clunch Parsons. 'Should a stared 'em out,
shunt e' Hummer'. Lancaster glared at Parsons. 'Stared them out ! Didn't
you see the things chasing me through the street. They were incensed ! I
couldn't do anything but run !' Clunch turned to Hummer and said 'What would
yew hev done Hummer, if they'd come for yew like that ?' Hummer Thompson's
bottom lip stuck out and he removed his cap to scratch his head. 'Ider stared
'em out Cluncher. Stared the buggers out. Stood my ground and stared 'em
out. Bloody townies allus run when a pigs arter 'em'
