by John Glover
click here for cast
list
Episode 29 - "Fred Ricketts" - (May 18th 7.30pm)
Yaxley took another long pull on his pint of Quangleroot and smiled at his
bar side companion, Fred Ricketts. "D'you mind if I call you Fred ?" he asked
politely. Fred returned the smile and patted the young Drainage Inspector
on the sleeve. "I don't mind at all me 'ol beauty. Any 'ol boor that likes
his beer like you do can call me Fred. That Clive Lancaster has to call me
Mr.Ricketts". Yaxley placed his pint back down on the bar and said gravely,
"Fred, Can you tell me where you were between seven and eight o'clock this
morning ? Ricketts gave a grin which displayed his nicotine stained teeth
and replied, "I wondered when you were going to get round to that. Yeah,
I can tell you. I don't know if anyone's already told yew but I live in a
mobile home down at the bottom of Cauliflower Drove by the side of the River
Snare. Jak Jackson over there is my neighbour. His barge is moored about
half a mile
upstream"
Just at that moment, as Jak's name was being taken in vain, he had livened
up the Karaoke equipment and was playing a tape through the sound system.
He had kept it low and then turned it up to eleven on the dial just as the
first loud blast of 'Song 2' by Blur was ready to let rip. Fred and Yaxley
span round and shouted at Jak to play something more befitting his age.
Unfortunately for Bunter and Hummer, they had been totally unprepared for
the aural assault, and the Domino Replica of Ealham Cathedral they had been
patiently erecting clattered to the table as Hummer began to scream and started
to dive under the table.
Jak restored the volume to background level and Fred Ricketts continued.
"I always get up at five o'clock, hev a cup of tea, a bowl o' porridge and
listen to the wireless for an hour. Then I take my 'ol dog, Bella, for a
walk and check my eel traps". He winked at Yaxley and patted his arm again,
"But yew won't be wanting to know much about them will yew boor ?" and he
winked at Farcett. Yaxley laughed and said "I've been temporarily deaf since
Jak put the music on, Fred." The older man continued to tell how he had taken
the nights catch back to his mobile home to gut and prepare the eels for
cooking. That had taken him until seven o'clock. He had put the eels into
the basket on back of his bike and had cycled up Cauliflower Drove when he
had arrived at Split Feather Farm. He always called in to see if the
Worthington's wanted any poultry plucking. After leaning his bike against
the side of the Worthington's coal shed he had walked around the side of
the house.
"Old Daisy is normally ready with a cup of tea for me", Ricketts explained.
"But this morning all I could hear was shouting and a crashing of pots and
pans". Yaxley raised an eyebrow, "And who was doing the arguing ?" he enquired.
"Well" said Fred, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "It were Daisy and
Anne. The first bit I heard was Daisy shouting 'I've seen better lookin'
cows un yew shit down their hocks afore ! And don't yew forget it!'
The prologue -
Episode One -
Episode 2 -
Episode 3 -
Episode 4 -
Episode 5 -
Episode 6 -
Episode 7 -
Episode 8 -
Episode 9 -
Episode 10 -
Episode 11-
Episode 12 -
Episode 13 -
Episode 14 -
Episode 15 -
Episode 16 -
Episode 17 -
Episode 18 -
Episode 19 -
Episode 20 -
Episode 21 -
Episode 22 -
Episode 23 -
Episode 24 -
Episode 25 -
Episode 26 -
Episode 27 -
Episode 28 -
Episode 30 -
Cast List
Comments to Collyinfo
The
Skaters Run was beginning to fill up. Jak Jackson was busying himself in
the corner with cables and Hi Fi equipment in readiness for the Karaoke and
Bunter (Brian) Worthington had got himself comfortable in a corner with Hummer
Thompson. Hummer always came in at half past seven on the dot, bought himself
a bottle of Manns brown ale and took a set of dominoes to his favourite table
by the fire. He just waited for someone to join him. And someone always did.
