by John Glover
click here for cast list

Episode 27 - "The Skaters Run" - (May 18th 7.15pm)

'Wor' Johnny Swift pulled two pints of 'Old Bastard' and thumped them down on the bar in front of Yaxley Farcett and Brian Worthington. "It's greet ta hav two lads that leek a good ould fashioned pint instead of this gassy lager !" he shouted enthusiastically. Twenty years of playing as centre half in professional football had left him with the disturbing habit of shouting a lot. It was not normally noticable in a busy pub, but at quarter past seven, with only four customers, it was a bit over whelming.

"What aboot poor Reg, then ?" boomed Johnny Swift. "Why it was urnly las' neet that he wuz in here. Why, You were playin' darts with him, weren't you Bri ?" Brian Worthington took a pull on his beer and sighed. "I still can't believe it. Murdered ! My God, you don't expect a murder in a place like Barnham. He was alright last night. Not talking about any problems, no enemies. Nothing. Just his darts and a few pints of Threaknecks". Brian patted the pump that carried the breweries crest affectionately and turned to Yaxley Farcett, "Threaknecks was Reg's favourite". Yaxley nodded, agreeing that it was a wise choice. In fact, Farcett had had one of his worst ever hangovers after a brewery tour at Threaknecks. He even owned one of their T-Shirts; a special one they had produced for the launch of a new ale called 'Fathers Ruin'. He had nearly worn it this evening, but had instead plumped for his current favourite, 'Life is short-Start with dessert'.

Yaxley noticed that Johnny Swift had left them and was busying himself down in the cellar. He glanced across to the far end of the bar and whispered to Brian, "Who are those two ? Locals ?" Sneaking a look over his shoulder, his partner replied, " That's Clive Lancaster nearest the wall. He's an accountant who lives on the new estate at the other end of the village. You can tell he's an accountant 'cos he's dressed like a farmer. Pillock ! Look at 'im. Thinks he's bloody Eddie Grundy out of the Archers". Yaxley had to agree. Clive Lancaster looked like a model from a 'Country Life' fashion shoot. "And the other one ?" inquired Farcett. "Ah. That's Fred Ricketts" replied Brian. He's what my hero Sherlock would call a 'singular character'. He lives on his Tod in a caravan out on the Fen. He does some shooting and fishing and lives from hand to mouth. Always seems to have enough money to come in here every night though. Dunno how he does it".

The two men at the far end of the bar seemed to sense that they were the subject of the conversation and Fred Ricketts shouted across "Evening Brian. Your Mum alright ?" Worthington had a short exchange with the man and introduced Yaxley Farcett to them. As he was keen to win over the locals, Farcett offered to buy them a drink. Ricketts nodded, but Clive Lancaster hurriedly picked up his cap and replied "no, no, no. But thanks all the same. I've got to dash. It's my turn to put Kieva to bed tonight. I'm reading her 'The Hobbit'. It's her favourite". As he left and the door banged to a close behind him, Yaxley gave Brian and Fred a grin. 'Kieva ! How old is she ?' Brian shrugged his shoulders, "No more than about nine months. I told you he was a pillock".

The prologue - Episode One -  Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 -  Episode 5 - Episode 6 - Episode 7 -  Episode 8 -  Episode 9 - Episode 10 - Episode 11- Episode 12 - Episode 13 - Episode 14 - Episode 15 - Episode 16 - Episode 17 - Episode 18 - Episode 19 - Episode 20 - Episode 21 - Episode 22 -  Episode 23 - Episode 24 -  Episode 25 - Episode 26 - Episode 28 - Cast List and Episode Index

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