by John Glover
click here for cast list

Episode 12 - "The Jeffrey Archer Game" (May 18th 1998 1:30pm)

Yaxley grabbed his new friend, Bunter Worthington, by the shoulders and spoke to him in as grave a voice as possible. Bunter stared back, his eyes red with tears, snot around his nose and biscuit crumbs sticking to his stubble. Working as a 'body double' for Leonardo De Caprio would not appear on Bunters CV in the near future. 'Brian' said Yaxley, hoping that using his real name might cheer him up, 'I want you to have a shower, a shave and change into some clean clothes. I have a job for you'. Bunter smiled. Small crumbs fell from his face and tumbled down his T-shirt. 'What sort of job ? I'm not very good at much'. 'You are ideally suited to the job I have in mind' replied Yaxley "You've been training for it all your life. I want you to be my Dr.Watson, my Sergeant Lewis, my err, errr, err...." at this point Yaxley's list of Sleuthing side kicks was exhausted. There was the posh one with the hat who helped Poirot, the insipid one who got very narky in Inspector Wexford and the young lad in the ultra realistic docu drama Hetty Wainthrop but he didn't think that using those as examples would enthuse his tearful new companion.

'Yes" exclaimed Yaxley, 'You are my Dr.Watson ! How does that feel ?' While Yaxley had been struggling for names he had turned away from Brian and paced the room in what he thought was a Sherlock Holmes type of way. He now turned round and realised he had been speaking to an empty room. The shower was already running, for Brian had heard the first mention of Dr.Watson and had gone to do what he had been told. He returned ten minutes later, showered, shaved and dressed to, if not kill, certainly cause some damage. Brian's wardrobe was obviously based on the same era as Su Parsons, the landlady. From top to bottom Brian was seventies man; purple shirt, jeans (flared) which were a size too small in the waist and a pair of shiny black shoes that you only ever see in charity shops. You know the ones. They have those three or four stitchy lines that go from the ankle to the toe.

Looking at him, Yaxley was reminded of another charity shop oddity that always interested him. Yaxley called it the 'Jeffery Archer Game'. He would visit a town with a friend and walk around checking out the various charity shops. Then they would draw the shop names equally out of a hat. The next part was easy.You just had to go in and count the amount of Archer's novels in paperback in each shop. Highest score wins. If it's a draw you try again with Alistair Maclean.

The prologue - Episode One -  Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 -  Episode 5 - Episode 6 - Episode 7 -  Episode 8 -  Episode 9 - Episode 10 - Episode 11 - Episode 13 - Cast List and Episode Index

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